Monday, November 24, 2008

CC: The Horse and His Elf

“Show me the meaning of haste!” I whispered into the ear of my mighty steed, clasping his reigns, prepared for a wild ride. I mustn’t have been speaking clearly though – he seemed far more intent on showing me the meaning of his indifference toward anything I wanted him to do.

My elven training had lead me to “The Ranch” in Oakville. For who could call himself an elf who could not ride a horse? Though I had a girl doing a radio documentary as well as my loyal producer there with me, Voshart was nowhere to be seen. He had decided to ignore the fact that we’d been trying to set up these lessons for weeks and go visit New York instead. That’s ok. When Peter Jackson needs to cast someone for the horseback scene we know who he’ll choose.

Trying to jump onto the horse

The lesson lasted only an hour, but we didn’t waste a minute. The first order of business was to teach me to get onto a horse. But not in the usual way. Being an aspiring elf, my instructor decided that it might be more appropriate that I learn how to grab onto the horse’s main and swing myself onto its back. She was also of the opinion that elves would be beyond saddles, so I got to learn to ride bareback on my first lesson. It was a crash course on learning how to work with horses designed to teach me as much as possible in as little time as we could. Needless to say, my comfort or the idea of easing me into it were completely irrelevant.

Nonetheless, I emerged from my adventure more confident, and able to direct my horse to take me where I need to go. I even made it through a driver’s test style series of pylons. Although I only made it to riding at a jog and not quite a full gallop, I can’t wait to show Dan up the next time we both make it out next time for more lessons.

Friday, November 14, 2008

DV: The Quantum of Ciosk

The "Chris is a Failure Party" has passed like a kidney stone.

With almost 30 attendees Chris reached his goal of finishing his film by November 13th and managed to screen something that was "watchable".

Quantum of Solaceme on the other hand was unanimously panned by everyone who migrated from the party to see this midnight screening. I heard from multiple sources that this year's Bond film was "worse than Chris' film"

How is it possible that man with the intellect of a dead penguin could out-do a bond film?

#1 The most likely scenario:
Bond was so disparagingly awful that guests were thankful for Chris's straight-to DVD release.

#2 My theory:
The Director of 007 spent all his spare time cleaning his kitchen.
Chis however, neglected his duties as a member of society and focused only on finishing his film.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

CC: The Final Push

Just now as I've been killing time while my video renders, I read that Baz Luhrmann (one of my favourite directors) is now in his final 24 hours of production on Australia, a film that he's been working on for the last four years of his life and is now scrambling to finish on the last possible day, less than a week before its premiere. It looks as though we both have something in common. Although with only two years on mine, I'll concede that it may only be half as good as Baz's.

Meanwhile, on this side of the equator I'm currently expending my last reserve of energy to try to get Adventurer finished before Vosh's 'Chris is a Failure' party. Only difference is Baz doesn't have a DVD to author too. Lazy. I'm gonna need every ounce of processing power on this computer to get this DVD finished by the deadline. It will be interesting to see how this all pans out. I wonder if Dan is going to have a trailer for our documentary ready for me to put on the DVD like he said that he planned to on our facebook group. That would be embarassing if the tables were turned tomorrow night.

So if you find yourself free of any sort of plans this Thursday, come by our place for a 'Chris is a _____ (soon to be determined) party'. Drinks! Adventurer screening! Midnight Quantum of Solace! What more could anyone ask for?

The menu is ready, but will Dan deliver his half of the content?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

CC: We Have a Runner!

Tonight at Milestones I found myself working at the service bar next to the kitchen. Every minute or so the expediter in the kitchen would yell “Can we have a runner?” (to run food out to a table) which basically became the key element in my night’s soundtrack. As time went on and I got increasingly tired, I started to feel like I was back in the trenches again, waiting for my cue – “We have a runner!” – for me to pull out my rifle and run the length of the trench.

It was one of my first ever experiences being an extra, and also probably the most uncomfortable. Dressed in a Canadian outfit from the First World War, I spent the majority of my days huddled for warmth with the other soldiers in our flooded trench, waiting for our brief moment of action. I know the actual soldiers we were portraying had to live in those conditions for ages and deal with the stench of death, but putting in a twenty hour day in a genuine uniform in a genuine replica trench was more than enough to convince me that if I ever find myself reincarnated in the 1910’s, there may be one particular historical event that I want to steer clear of.

On the other hand, singing and dancing in a forest glade might be an entirely different experience when I’m an elf. Unless I’m fighting orcs in the Battle of Five Armies!

You'll never see a shot this clear of me in Geoff Webster's Beyond the Line.